"Hungry, I come to You for I know You satisfy..."

When people ask me how I'm doing lately, I respond that I'm working, trying to get back into working out regularly (never take a break from that, y'all, because it's hard to get back into it), and planning to move to L.A. by the new year. If they ask why, I launch into my dream (ever since I was 11) to be a working actor. There's a lot of reasons why I never pursued it, but the most important one being a sucky reason; not trusting God enough to make it happen.

It's interesting. I'm pursuing acting opportunities in the area now through my church. I've been invited to audition for upcoming ongoing productions. I think there's a Christmas play too. Yes, audition. They're serious. They audition for the choirs, praise teams, and the orchestras too. If you can't make it, then maybe you can serve in another ministry. See, I thought that I had to get refresher experience, then audition. I was holding myself back because I was scared. Yes, I'm scared. There, I said it. However, not having a spirit of fear, but of power and a sound mind, I move forward. Like Georgia O'Keefe said, "I've been absolutely terrified every single moment of my life, but that has never stopped me from doing anything I've ever wanted to do." It's not that bad, but you get the point.

I've even asked others for advice in this area. I asked an actress on a television show for her opinion and she gave it, but also told me that if my heart is set on moving to L.A., then do it. I asked another friend and I'm awaiting his response, but for all the "asking" I'm doing, is it worth asking? I keep hearing and seeing God saying, "But what did I tell you to do?" Sometimes the people you love the most will subconsciously try to hold you back. For instance, my dad asked me if I had three years of savings saved up before I moved out there. Um, okay. Not six months. Not a year. THREE years. I know he loves me, but that was blatantly trying to hold me back through fear. It made me laugh.

It's like this (this thought came to me last week), if God places a dream in your heart, and you can see through the dream to see how you can be a blessing to Him and others because of it, it's not up to us to decide how it will be accomplished. He'll work that out. It's just up for us to be in the place where He can bless us. So, if He's standing to the right of where you're standing, guess who has to move to the right?

I'll try to make this the last time I "talk" about this. When I'm "doing it," it'll be a much more exciting blog. So, I continue to work, work out, look for apartments in L.A. and jobs in L.A.