It's About Time

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced. Television was meant to be ON, not just watched. The same goes for the Silver Screen and the stage. Every time I watch a show (a good one) or a good movie (even the silly fun ones like EuroTrip), I keep saying two things to myself - 1) I could do that, and 2) Yeah, why AREN’T you doing that?

I’m sitting in Athens, Greece, now watching coverage of high fashion shows (DSquared2) has some great ideas for themed shows and the Cannes Film Festival. I’m missing ME in all of it. I feel somewhere in me that I should BE there. Yes, I want to attend the high fashion shows. Yes, I want to go to Cannes to help promote either my latest movie or a movie that I’m in. They look like they’re having fun, and from what I hear, Cannes is quite nice. So is San Tropez. I digress.

Well, what’s left then? I guess there’s nothing left but to act out on the acting dream. Just do it. Go for it. I’m scared, though. I don’t know why. I keep wondering what will happen if I try? It’s not so much that I won’t make it, but what happens after I succeed (on any level of accomplishing the dream)? What happens to my privacy? Who will be my real friends and not just the hangers-on? How hard will it be to get rejected more times than I can keep count? What about all who I have to temporarily leave behind to pursue my dream (meaning that I can’t be with family and friends as much as I’d like to be...at least in the beginning, I guess). It’s harder for black actors in Hollywood, so what chance do I have to be noticed above the rest?

What if I’m not “pretty” enough? What if I don’t give good face?

Yes, all of these are trivial things and experienced actors will tell you to just do it and don’t worry about it. However, I tend to overanalyze.

So, I want it all, but it all has to start somewhere. Might as well be now. And besides, I believe that God is with me, so really, why am I worried? It’s the unknown, I guess.

Oh well. Gotta make moves and make things happen.